I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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