Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
