Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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