More tranny stories later!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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