We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
