hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
