if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
