Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize