You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize