Your dad touched me again.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
