Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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