if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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