stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
