I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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