Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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