hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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