Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
