it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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