I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
