the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
