It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
