can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
should my penis look like a turkey
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
