Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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