so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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