words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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