He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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