So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
