I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
