You made me cry and you don't even care
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
