The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
