Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i love accidental penises.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
