How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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