Fuck appropriateness.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
