you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize