butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
