dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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