The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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