maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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