alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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