K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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