Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
