come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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