hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
