I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't notice because vodka
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
