Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There r osticjed everywhere
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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