It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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