Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize