ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
