Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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