I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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