she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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