I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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