I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
