Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
