all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
