My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
