it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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