I'm really into asian looking animals
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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