did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
