i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
