How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
