it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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