3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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