His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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